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Nine-and-a-half facts about Vista

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

Here are some true facts about Microsoft Vista:

  1. Vista is the forefather of the Matrix AND Skynet
  2. Vista installations contain two full dumps of both Bill Gates and Steve Balmers DNA so they can be cloned in the future.
  3. Your installation of Vista is very safe. The FBI, NSA and Homeland Security keep a close eye on it for you.
  4. Every time you click on something in Vista, a kitten is killed (slowly, like everything else in Vista)
  5. Vista is possessed by the devil. Vista CDs glow eerily in the night and produce spooky sounds, even when not in your computer
  6. Vista was an experiment of Microsoft's research department to see what would REALLY happen if you'd let twenty-thousand monkeys bash on a 'typewriter' (keyboard, in this case).
  7. 2,189,000 and a half trees where destroyed due to printing out Vista's source code and manuals at Microsoft.
  8. Vista's so ugly… it's uglier than yo momma!
  9. People die every minute out of frustration with Vista
  10. Vista wouldn't be so bad (but still pretty bad) if it didn't cras)!#@_!!!!E_NOCARRIER